To use an older 2010’s adage: 2020 had no chill.
From murder hornets and the U.S. election to wildfires and racial unrest (and who can forget the star of the show, COVID-19), there were very few moments of serenity this past year. As we enter into the holiday season, take a moment and ask yourself, “what do my loved ones truly want this year?”
The answer: to chill the f*ck out.
That’s really all anyone can ask for in an on-fire trash can of a year where nothing went right, we were all stuck indoors for over nine months, and now we have to worry about bugs in a very serious way. We all just want the chance to chill the actual f*ck out.
There’s obviously no way we can achieve true chillness enlightenment when, you know, the global pandemic we’re living through is still as active as ever (unless there was a way to replicate Dr. Fauci so that we all had our personal Faucis to give us the facts in a straightforward but humorous manner). But these gifts might offer those on your gift list a little zen moment of no f*cks.
What’s more soothing than being swaddled up in a blanket? And then what if that blanket feels like a hug which you haven’t gotten in months because you’ve been abiding by the CDC guidelines and have not been reckless with your health and that of those around you?
As someone who is a big believer in moisturizing your entire body but also terrible at it, I’m always looking for something easy peasy that I can use once I’m already snug in bed. This body butter smells—dare I say—delectable. It’s so compact on my nightstand table, and it melts into my skin in such a way that can only be described as *chef’s kiss.*
Objectively, you can’t not be relaxed looking at this stunning little candle. Subjectively, this is one of the best smelling candles I’ve ever encountered (and I’ve encountered my fair share of candles).
There is nothing more soothing in this world than the melodic voice of Harry Edward Styles (except maybe if your name is C*nd*ce Ow*ns). Give someone you love the gift of Harry because he’s one of the few things this year that actually helped to keep us all from exploding.
Drinking a CBD seltzer offers this wonderful cross between feeling like you’re clinging to your college days whenever you drink a White Claw and feeling like a wine mom at 22 (sidebar: I’m realizing this might be a “me problem”). You’re calm, you’re serene, you’re definitely buzzed, but the best part is you staved off an identity crisis. And that’s something special.
In my notes, I wrote down that a great idea for a gift that would calm me down would be “like a fun tea box,” which reflects the amount of time I spent watching Schitt’s Creek and emotionally connecting with Alexis Rose this year. That said, look at these tea sets!!! How can you receive any of these and not immediately chill out a little?
This notebook was actually created by cognitive-behavioral therapists to help users work through their anxiety the way an in-person therapist would. Can you believe I found out about this from an apparently very targeted Instagram ad???
What’s more peaceful than extracting all of the gunk out of my pores? I love using these two together because the Galaxy Greens mask works wonders at empty out my blackheads but often irritates my skin a little in the process. However, when I follow her up with the Moon Mask… magic happens.
Full disclosure: the first time I tried B GREAT’s Lip Defense, I did think I was going to get Kylie Jenner-esque plumped up lips. Instead, I just calmed the f*ck down. I’m a new CBD devotee and this hemp lip balm not only keeps my lips hydrated literally all day but it really mellows me out, and that’s huge since you all now know I’m an anxious Harry Styles-obsessed wine mom!
When I was a sophomore in college, my roommate kept an oil diffuser in our room. At first, I was a little hesitant, worried the smells would make my already awful insomnia even worse. Y’all…. I think I went through diffuser withdrawal after we moved out. I couldn’t sleep for weeks afterward because I had gotten so used (and comfortable) to falling asleep with this sweet majestic beast. I mean, I can’t sleep naturally but I couldn’t sleep and I was longing for a diffuser back. Anyway, while I can recommend a diffuser, it’s not my place to tell you which oils to get…
…for your diffuser!! But it is 100% my place to tell you to try this oil if you’re looking to just chill out, kick back, and feel like you just went to a spa pre-COVID times (you’re welcome).
Ever drink Crystal Light lemonade and wish that it also took the edges off the corners of life? Well, I have news for you: 2020’s hottest drink is UPSY ALIGN Balance Act. These drink packets have everything: great lemonade taste, perfect to fill a 16 oz bottle of water, 20mg of pure, organic, hemp-derived CBD.
(If you got that Stefon reference, call me.)
Since we’re going to be in quarantine for a while longer (and we are. This is a fact. This is not flexible information. Stay home.), what’s a better time than now to spend literal months nurturing and growing a tree that requires absolute patience?
How to achieve the perfect image of chilled the f*ck out, as told by every movie and TV show I watched growing up: a fluffy white robe, cucumbers on the eyes, and a face mask. These babies get you 1/3 of the way to that ultimate goal.
15. Truly Beauty Moon Bath Essentials ($25.50)
I’m just going to say it: spas seem like COVID hotspots. You’re sweating out your fluids, you’re being touched all the time, you’re releasing those deeps sighs of relief laden with droplets into the air. Pro tip: create your own spa in your own home. Sure, you might not get a deep tissue massage but with this set, you can turn your bath/shower/outhouse contraption into a getaway destination in that you get away from everyone else to use it.
Chilling the f*ck out is a mind, body, and soul affair. This set literally gives your body the full package: exfoliator, wash, lotion, and serum all designed to smooth, soothe, and shine skin.
THIS CANDLE SMELLS LIKE OUTSIDE!!!!! This candle smells like outside!!!This candle? Yeah, it smells like outside.
What is the second thing we miss most this year, after any semblance of normalcy (and maybe the ability to not take things like going to work for granted)? Leaving our homes. Yes, you probably got more into walks around your neighborhood because they made you feel like you were directly rebelling against Dr. Anthony Fauci.
But now that it’s winter and sad outside, this candle will help to make you feel like everything is normal and make you feel like the outdoors are just a place that exists, not a potential minefield where you may happen to run into your anti-mask neighbor who won’t move to the other side of the road so then you have to move to the other side of the road but there are so many cars so by the time you actually get over there you might have come within six feet of the anti-masker and you worry about your exposure for the rest of the day. (I miss outside.)
As with anything these days, I found this small business on TikTok and absolutely adore it. Not only are the crystals from Ceremonials fantastic but Leslie also makes energy cleansing videos on her TikTok page which, y’all if those don’t chill you the f*ck out, I don’t know if anything in this world will. Better luck in the next lifetime, honey!!!
You’ve heard of writing through your anxiety in a notebook, now get ready for: writing out all of your other thoughts!!! TikTok has taught me a lot of things in quarantine so far, but one of the major lessons was that journaling can be both a theraputic act and a powerful manifestation tool to create your dream reality (and to cast spells).
This one is entirely self-explanatory.