Help! My nipples are bleeding!|
It’s a hot, sweaty spring day and you go for a run, because, why not?
After a couple of sweaty miles, you get back home, peel off your shirt and rush into the shower to find that something stings. It’s not your face, no, it’s not sunburned, you’ve read Very Good Light (!!!) and now wear SPF everywhere you go. You look down and gasp. It’s your nipples. Both of your nipples are gushing blood and your water is turning pink.
If this scenario has ever happened to you and you came upon this very article on Google Search, fret not. You have the case of bloody nipples, or more scientifically named fissure of the nipple. It’s totally normal and it’s likely there’s nothing medically wrong with you. Just know that it’s simply because of chafing. Because your nipples naturally have a little height and width they’ll surely come in contact with any shirt you wear.
Why TF are they even, uh, bleeding?
Therefore, nipple bleedage comes from a perfect storm of directly rubbing against clothing, sweat from your pores and lots of salt. The nipples become super irritated because of the salty liquid they’re trapped in. They then will probably tear a little after being rubbed against from side to side as you run. The raw skin will then become even more irritated from sweat and salt seeping through. It definitely isn’t fun, no. And you probably didn’t even feel discomfort until you’ve settled down, thanks to the endorphins running through your brain, which makes you oblivious to pain, during an intense workout.
Easy steps to prevent your bleeding nips:
Thankfully, friends, preventing nipple bleeding is easy AF. Like, seriously, it’s super simple. There are many solutions to this. As a guy, you have the liberty, freedom and privilege to free those nipples. You’re free as a man to free them on the streets, in the sheets, on the Gram for all to see. If you’re not into freeing your friends, it’s cool. Dress yourself with sweat-sicking fabrics that are a mixture of cotton and synthetic materials. Nike, for instance, has many options. This will ensure that you don’t get too much moisture drenching your clothing.
SEE ALSO: Your balls smell.
Next, hydrate! The more you hydrate, the less salt that will be left behind. Imagine being so dehydrated that when you sweat, grains of salt are left behind. They may seem small, but they have jagged edges and can definitely help with tearing your nips.
Lastly, if you have bigger nipples than other guys and still have problems bleeding, simply cover your nipples with a Band-aid. Lube those babies up with something like Vaseline, a balm, or the stuff you use to highlight your face. Anything will do. Tape them down and get your run on.
Of course, if this is a recurring problem, by all means, man, go see your doctor or physician. There may be something more serious going on. And you don’t want your nipples to scar either. That’ll make them even pointier and more prone to being chafed.
Happy non-bleeding my nippled friends! Here’s to keeping them dry, salt-free and un-chafed.