Pleasure comes in many forms.
One of those forms is sex toys. Let’s say it together, now: everyone can enjoy experimentation with sex toys, regardless of gender or sexuality. While we tend to think of vibrators and dildos only prescribed to women and people with vulvas, Gigi Engle, certified sexologist, Womanizer sexpert, and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: a guide to sex, love, and life, wants everyone to know that there are tons of options out there for males to (fore)play around with.
“They [sex toys] are a tool for you to explore your pleasure,” Engle says. “Sex toys help you redefine what sexuality means because they change the narrative from a performance-based model of, ‘You have to stay hard and orgasm means sex is over,’ to, ‘Sex is about exploring pleasure. It is a journey without any real destination.’ It can be very liberating.”SEE ALSO: Contract gonorrhea helped me get through my own sex shame But, let’s be real: incorporating these toys into your regular sexual endeavors — regardless of having a partner or going solo — can feel a bit intimidating.So, if you’re looking to up the ante on your sex life, then give some of Engle’s tips for sex toy play, plus our favorite sex toys for men, below:
Tip #1: Don’t be afraid of sex toys.
This may seem like a no-brainer, but some of us can get performance anxiety when something new is added into the mix. So, listen to Engle when she says they are your friend, not your foe. “We see a lot about vibrators, but there are plenty of toys for men,” she says. “Don’t be intimidated by them.”
Tip #2: Try a masturbation sleeve to start.
“They are the easiest to use and the most straightforward,” says Engle. “I love Tenga Eggs because they’re one-time use, so you need to be meticulous about cleaning toys like a Fleshlight because of the overgrowth of bacteria. Cyberskin is porous and if you don’t wash it after every single use with soap and water, you will give a female partner bacterial vaginosis or something worse.”
Tip #3: Get a prostate toy
If you haven’t experimented with anal play just yet, you may be missing out on some serious pleasure. “The prostate is the male G-spot,” says Engle. “It has a ton of nerve endings and can be a source of seriously explosive orgasms.” If you’re looking to find a toy for anal use, Engle recommends using something simple, like the b-Vibe Rimming Toy or a Doc Johnson silicone butt plug.
Tip #4: Take the time to masturbate
Whether you’re brand new to the realm of sex toys, or just adding something new to your collection, Engle recommends taking the time to get to know how your body likes to use it — without the overstimulation of visual pornography. “When you’re using a masturbation sleeve, a cock ring, or any other sex toy, be sure you’re using different mental stimuli as well,” she says. “With young men becoming so conditioned to porn, we need to change it up so that you’re not relying on it for orgasm.” Instead of going to the world wide web, Engle recommends using your imagination, a sexy story, or listen to an erotica podcast. “Changing up the way you masturbate will ultimately help you be a better lover because you don’t need one single thing to enjoy sexual interactions,” she says.
Tip #5: Clean your sex toy
Seriously: clean your sex toys regularly! Not only is it more hygienic for the sake of your body to clean it after each and every use, but it’s also important for the safety of others you may share it with during intercourse. “Read the directions on each toy and follow them,” Engle says. “I know it can be hard to keep with this, but if you don’t, you could end up with a UTI (yes, boys do get UTIs) or another infection. This will mean you end up in the doctor’s office needing to explain what you were doing to get said infection.”
Tip #6: Use your toys with your partners
If you feel ready and up for it, using your sex toys with your partners can add a new kick to your sex life, so there’s no need to feel intimidated. “Cockrings and masturbation sleeves and prostate massagers are super fun to use with partners. There is nothing wrong with a guy who likes using sex toys,” says Engle. “In fact, it’s very cool and mature, if you ask me. It shows you know your body and you’re interested in experimenting with different ways to have pleasure. Sex toys are sex enhancers. They don’t replace a penis, they just make sex even more fun. It’s like an ice cream sundae: It’s really good with whipped cream, but add some hot fudge and you’ve taken your ice cream game to a whole other level.” Just make sure you talk to your partner about what they feel comfortable leaving in and out of the bedroom — and remember, have fun with it!