Can flossing be the most enjoyable part of your morning or night?
Hell nah! At least, that’s what I thought before researching flosses for a good two months. Yes, two whole months for this story! Brushing my teeth is bad enough, but then having to glide a thread in between my teeth to get some gunk out isn’t my idea of a night recap, especially if flossing creates intense bleeding.
It’s 2017, I asked myself. Isn’t there a better way of getting plaque from your teeth than getting some waxed string and going back and forth to get it out?
Certainly, there are. And I discovered there are plenty of new brands that are trying to change our perceptions of flossing. Take for instance, this one brand I just came across, called Cocofloss. It comes in flavors like strawberry and coconut. Um, what?! And this other vegan brand that actually uses a vegan wax (see below), something I didn’t even take into account was important to many people. Whatever the case, in the past few weeks, I realized flossing is becoming, well, flossy. Meaning, the flosses of your parents’ days are over. No longer is it just some waxed plastic string in any old dispenser.
While y’all were wondering whether or not to even consider doing this 30-second regimen, some die-hard flossers out there created flosses with flavors beyond mint, antiseptic properties, super fluffy textures akin to unicorn hair, biodegradable material, and vegan ingredients.
Needless to say, the floss game is serious. More so, flossing is becoming an aspect that’s now dare I say, enjoyable to my morning and night. In fact, I look forward to extracting gunk from my nasty ass teeth alleys. The following are the best ones I’ve found on the market and hope you, too will find enjoyable. Now get to it, heathen!
This is one of my favorites. The floss container is different from your typical floss because this one is a circular shape that rotates to cover up the floss on top from debris and whatnot. More importantly, the floss itself is not your typical thin plastic string. This floss is thick but super soft which is an amazing combo to help clean your teeth, without damaging your gums. Don’t get me wrong, if you haven’t flossed ever, your weak ass gums are probably going to bleed some.
For reasons unknown, the Smart Floss only comes in cardamom flavor. TBH, I’m only familiar with this spice because I once accidentally bought a jar of cardamom thinking it said ‘cinnamon.’ I mean, can you blame me? Probably. Cardamom smells like a pine tree and a bar of soap made a baby. It’s weird, but you’ll grow to like it. I mean, it’s a natural flavoring and I actually enjoy the subtle taste and smell because I’d much rather smell that than my dried saliva, so I’m okay with this lack of choice.
Those with cardamommy issues (lol) need not apply. . Otherwise, get it here.
2 Radius Vegan Xylitol Floss ($6)
Vegan floss. Now WTF is that? At first glance, it looks like the usual mint floss, except this has its wax derived from candelilla shrubs in the Southwestern US desert to keep it vegan. The floss itself is made of nylon filaments which they managed to make nearly as fluffy and soft as their non-vegan silk floss.
It also comes in Cranberry – and you might be wondering if you want the taste of cranberries in your mouth. It’s not something you don’t want, but not exactly something you were going for. Don’t trip though, while the mint will actually taste like mint, the cranberry is not flavored. They just use the essences to capture the beneficial properties of cranberry including its antibacterial property – and they include natural xylitol to all their flosses, which reduces acidity in the mouth while preventing bacteria.
Lastly, they have their Natural Silk Floss which is completely biodegradable (and also super soft), so you don’t have to feel guilty of your floss potentially creating a noose for a bird just trying to have fun at the local landfill.
Did I mention the floss is made at a fair-trade cooperative in Colombia? And the cranberries are picked in the States? And the wax comes from the deserts of Southwestern US? And that you can buy it online and get it shipped right to your door?
Answer key: No. No. Yes. No, so here’s the link.
3 Woobamboo Eco-Awesome Floss ($4.95)
This one is for the true eco-friendly consumer. It’s made by a Florida-based company that doesn’t specialize in dental products but instead specializes in making awesome eco-friendly products. They like to emphasize that they’re not about toothbrushes or hygiene, but that they are “about the fact that every person can make a difference in the world.” Can I get an Amen?
This fine Italian floss comes in a completely biodegradable packaging with plant-based plastic, AND the floss is natural silk, which is also biodegradable. The packaging itself is the floss container once you rip it at the perforated lines. Now about the floss itself: while it is silk, it’s not super fluffy and soft, reminiscent of unicorn hair. The plus side is that if your teeth are super close together and you ain’t got space for the fluffy floss, this one will slip right in and clean out your tooth alleys.
This is definitely the most complete product of the future. Fully sustainable, biodegradable, and natural. Flossing never felt so right. Get it here.
4 Cocofloss ($3.50/month for the plan, $21 for a 3-pack $8 for a single)
If I had to pick only one floss brand to use for the rest of my life, this would be it. This company was started by the Cu sisters (Asian-Americans + Californians represent!) who are the perfect duo for this product. A dentist and an artist created this product, and you’ll see both of their expertise play out in these 32 yards of floss. The design is simple and beautiful, yet very practical and informing. For instance, I never knew how much floss I was supposed to use until I came across Cocofloss’ graphic on the back of their product that shows a progression of how long this thing should last (60 days) if you floss every day using 18 inches each time. The more you know! Cue shooting star.
The floss itself is glorious. Super soft like Dr. Tung’s Smart Floss because of the microfibers used, so you actually feel like you’re scrubbing the tooth alleys clean. The floss is a turquoise color, so you can see all the treasure you harvested pretty clearly, unless you’ve been eating turquoise food. Unlikely. So what puts this one above the rest?
The flavors are the kickers. It comes in coconut, mint, cara cara oranges, and strawberry. The Cu sisters were kind enough to send us three of the four (the orange came out after they had sent it) and, again, if you want to stick with mint, be my guest. I’m going to adventure on to strawberries and coconuts. The secret evil plan by the sisters was to make flossing actually enjoyable enough to do it daily. I think they nailed it. Your whole mouth just tastes like you just low key made out with a coconut or strawberry.
If I had this as a kid, I might have avoided a few cavities and that damn root canal I had to get in high school. It would have been right up there next to that grape-flavored dinosaur toothpaste that got me to actually enjoy brushing my teeth, though I’m sure it was because I wanted to “accidentally” eat some of the toothpaste. I have so far resisted consuming this floss, but I do pick it up just to smell it every now and then.
I read a review about their product where someone said that it was like flossing with unicorn hair. I can confirm this is true. Subscribe to their floss plan for $3.50/month or get a 3-pack on their site to try them all.
5 Oral-B Glide Pro-Health Comfort Plus (2-pack for $5.77)
Most of y’all have either seen this or used this before. This was probably one of my favorite flosses before I discovered this other world of flosses. So to give you a comparison, this one is definitely soft in its own way, but not like the fluffy type. This one is flat, so it’s great for tighter spaces and for cleaning out the area where the gum and teeth meet. My only complaint is that it glides so well that I don’t feel like I’m scrubbing the sides, but more like scraping or filleting my plaque. Not as satisfying, but gets the job done in terms of dislodging gunks of your once-delicious meal. Flavors, packaging, and all that are fairly basic. It comes in mint or original (no flavor), but it has a bunch of varieties in terms of ‘extra soft’ and ‘whitening’ and ‘ultrafloss.’ Mainly gimmick words, IMO. This is the #1 Best Selling floss on Amazon — but instead of being described as fluffy, they use “silky-smooth” which is pretty accurate. But then again, you can get the literal smoothness of silk from the other flosses mentioned above.
This is your go-to floss when you’re out of floss and find yourself at a big box store like Target. Get it really anywhere, like here.
6 Human Hair (Free)
Another thing I confirmed during this review was that I was not a unicorn, unfortunately. Let me explain. When I was doing my floss research, I came across some blog on the best eco-friendly flosses by this super minimalist lady who was doing this whole zero-waste thing. Her recommendations were mediocre and a lot of it was nearly impossible to acquire… except her last recommendation. She had read somewhere that some zero-waste extremists floss with their hair. Like three strands and boom, you have an all-natural, biodegradable, free of charge, super portable floss.
I collected about three stray strands of hair from my head and went for the front two teeth. Floss floss floss, then as I was trying to pull my cage-free organic hair out, it snagged and broke. Now I had three strands of hair and the plaque it tried to remove, stuck in my teeth and tickling my lips. I reach for my beloved Cocofloss to help resolve this mistake and to treat myself to a little tropical mouthcation.
Anyways, I did it so you guys will never be curious enough to try it. It’s definitely the least sanitary and least effective way to floss. I would say it’s the most portable, but if that’s your concern, go get a portable floss satchel pack from Radius instead.
